Saturday, October 4, 2008

...any suggestions for a title?...

He came upon her from behind.
What have you there?
My heart, she said.
He touched her shoulders, close and kind,
Face near her hair,
Warm breath, bent head.

I love you. May I have your heart?
She turned her head
And smiled up.
You've had it from the very start,
You know, she said,
Hands like a cup.

But it's in pieces. What is this?
And some are torn,
And some are bruised.
And here touched by a stolen kiss,
And heartache-worn.
Why is it used?

And she could only hold it up,
And look at him as though he knew,
Heart throbbing in her fingers' cup,
The beating fragments shining through.

My friends. I've nothing to confess.
I loved them so.
And that's just me.
It doesn't make me love you less.

He nodded,
Though he'd never see.

16 comments:

William Michaelian said...

“She Remembered It That Way”

~im just only me~ said...

There'll be girls across the nation
that will eat this up...

don't be emily said...

That comment isn't quite self explanatory....???? yes, i got the reference, but it didn't help much.

~im just only me~ said...

It wasn't really supposed to be helpful as far as title goes...
how about "No coffee today", I think that would be a good title...

~im just only me~ said...

how about... "Important text."

don't be emily said...

cassie, you are totally unhelpful. i know that wasn't supposed to be a title. but the first line applied to the poem is not constructive (or destructive) criticism.....and your titles are retarded. and you know it.

Mother of Perseus said...

Cassie's titles are great! lol. it certainly made me laugh a little at any rate.
It's lovely you know. And personally means a great deal, from current feelings to past notions. And makes me think of a story/metaphore that SMR once told us in class.

hmmm... "From current Feelings to Past Notions"... does that help a little? kinda cold i guess, but it struck me after i wrote it.

I love you too.

don't be emily said...

i'm glad then. :) it's not one i'm proud of, but it needed to be written. been in my head for months.

don't be emily said...

cassie said, tho she won't take the time to post it, that she actually thinks the poem is girly and trite. just putting that out there. she does also think that the 1st line is very funny and awkward, and she wanted to leave an inappropriate comment, but then "didnt have time"..oh wait, change that to "it was beneath her"..and i am wondering, what was beneath her?

~im just only me~ said...

lol youre retarded. Ok, how about "Shoot the Moon"... (thats a serious suggestion fyi...)

~im just only me~ said...

haha my titles are "great" ..!

p.s. timke

VitalRA said...

So I know this is really behind the times, but I just made some sense of this poem! :-P lol. You know me, I don't get poetry so well...doesn't make much sense most of the time!

Lol. Makes me feel kinda stupid that I hardly know the first thing 'bout poetry.... But I suppose the good thing is that I think I'm learning a little bit more trying to read poetry and trying to understand what it says and see how it says it.

Lol. Not much of a real comment on your poem! Lol. Someday I'll learn bout commenting! lol.

Well, I could probably talk all night! But I won't :-)

Good poem :-) Reminds me of one by...I was just thinking of it the other night too! It was by a Mexican nun and was called, "Last Evening When I Spoke to You" ...I think. Your's is more subtle

VitalRA said...

oops! lol. wasn't going to leave the last line there for I decided it wasn't quite right! lol. Got distracted with the Cassie commenting on certain photos! :-P lol.

~im just only me~ said...

"...And makes me think of a story/metaphore that SMR once told us in class." So you leave us hanging like that? Not very nice Miss LaMothe, not very nice. lol.. Have you come up with a title yet?

don't be emily said...

Was going to go with William's.

don't be emily said...

although "no coffee today" really did speak to my heart.