Friday, May 9, 2008

rewritten from a poem I found from years ago....was the original idea ever any good? don't know...

My heart is broken, and it will not heal
Last night, until I fell asleep, I cried
I cannot put a name to what I feel
Much too confused for phrases cut and dried
My dream...so overused...came true last night
But as I reached with wonder in my hands
To touch it, it was rudely....so cliche...
And boldly snatched away, and now I stand....
Oh, please don't laugh. Before you call this trite--
You were the dream that broke my heart last night.

12 comments:

~im just only me~ said...

oh sweet sweet... didnt see the end coming... very nice...

Bec said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mother of Perseus said...

dude, i love it. beautiful really.

"Lost in the moment..." said...

Okay Cassieandra, so I'm replacing the comment I removed... :)

ya know...as I read the last line, I had to stop and read the first again as I thought "wait, didn't she already say that in the first line??" but point of fact you didn't.... Guess I "knew" through some poetic knowledge of what you were speaking of as I knew the same feeling just the last weekend....

Most awesome lines. I very much liked it. Hope you'll post again soon.... :-)
~Bec

MP and a glass of wine said...

lol. I just realized you used the same format as I did on my page! Lol. Black with green title grey lettering... :) Nice, very nice.

don't be emily said...

Great minds....=)

~im just only me~ said...

fools...

MP and a glass of wine said...

You know you're just jealous...

--oh, and have you ever clicked on the little wheel chair for the hearing impaired by the word verification line??? I did just for the heck of it and WOW! I don't know what the heck that was supposed to be saying!!!

SassyDefiance89 said...

love it... can't explain why... perhaps because it comes from an innocent past...

I really love pixie dust ^.^

Mother of Perseus said...

hmmm, having read this over once again, I find that I connect in some weird way most recently. You see, I had a dream that broke my heart too... a daydream, a passing thought, most unexpectedly come to life, and then quickly and unwantedly snatched away... *le sigh*... i guess i just woke up.

Paul Bernard said...

Liked it. Enjoyed the rhyming scheme too.

Bryan said...

Pretty successful attempt to avoid being cliche despite the common subject.